Sea of feelings

Feelings and seaweed (metaphorical thoughts about feelings)

From time to time, OK often, when I’m out walking or driving, thoughts come into my mind and instead of trying to control them, I like to see where they go. I like to give thoughts and feelings the freedom to explore; it’s like a little adventure for the mind - the child within.

Photo belongs to Mikko Raskinen.

This time, it was about seaweed; stay with me here. It actually started with thinking about levels of feelings and how we access them (or don't) as it may be, and how uncomfortable feelings can be like swimming in the sea and suddenly being pulled down by that that lies beneath. If we were to just keep swimming, trying to ignore the seaweed entangling our legs not knowing how large or powerful the threat is, we would surely struggle on the surface and eventually be pulled down under by the seaweed or feelings.

And I ask you what advice would you give to someone who you could see swimming toward that large dark body of water? Easier to see from a distance though, isn’t it?

This is when people often come to therapy, when the water is no longer clear, when they are entangled in the emotions and can’t see a way out.

So we can’t avoid feelings as they will find us eventually, but what’s the purpose, what can we do, how can we navigate this better? Much like seaweed, feelings have a purpose, and not too dissimilar either.

Seaweed cleans its surroundings, provides a habitat for other beings. If we look at that metaphorically, our feelings also need a home and can also cleanse our souls, and much like the Ocean, they have motion and will move to a different place; they will always be there but they will move.

Noticing them so we can navigate them is key, otherwise we can find ourselves pulled down under by them. We don’t have to stay stuck there but if we can see and feel the signs, we already have a head start.

So what’s the point of therapy?

Just as the seaweed can lie beneath the surface and entangle you or pull you under, so can trauma. Well, whilst we can never get rid of it completely, in counselling, we can free you from the tangle bit by bit and support you to notice your responses, reactions and see where they are coming from. Then, when traumatic situations come near in the future, you will be able to see them in advance, acknowledge them, and safely navigate through or around them.

Who wants to lose feelings altogether anyway?

Happiness – Joy – love – learning

Sadness – reflection – learning

Anger – boundaries – learning

Without them, how do we learn?

_____________________________________________________ I just want to take a moment to share a post i came across during this time that i have to thank for the photo (Artist: Julie Lohmann) and the beautiful creations she produces with seaweed. If you are interested to look a little further please check her out here Strong and beautiful as Seaweed .

Absence of patience

Patience defined as "the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious" easier said than done right! There's no denying lack of patience is often linked with not enough time.

Hour glass

Life can feel so fast, pressures of meeting everyday wants and needs can lead us to feel stressed and dragged along with the pace. Before we know it we find ourselves speeding up, needing things and trying to do things quickly and not feeling all too happy when this pace is slowed.

Ever feel like you are juggling so many things in life there is not time to stop and think. Its at times like these that we often forget our own needs because we feel there isn’t enough time to attend to them, this can also often lead us to be less patient with others, ourselves too. We all deserve...no need... some time to stop, breathe and reboot. Which leads to why I am here today. As I carved some time out for myself this week doing what I call my ‘stretch yoga’, so nothing too strenuous nor too long maybe 20 minutes, I heard a lovely quote through Cole Chance youtube video (not the original owner of the quote) that stuck with me. She shared this before starting;

"I cannot push the sand faster through the hour glass it will fall on its own time, if i force it the glass will crack. So i may as well relax and let things unfold as they will, for who knows what may happen in this space"

'What will happen in this space' reminded me of the therapy room. How people sometimes come in with a set of expectation’s but are often surprised by the pace. How in just being there, being them, by not being or feeling forced – having time, solely for them with no other life demands in that 1 hour they are able to relax. It allows something quite amazing to take place in that space. Thoughts and feelings shared, not judged, accepted, and changes begin to happen.

I like the idea that for 1 hr a week the hour glass of your being is not forced, the sand flows at its own pace and completely naturally. There isn't anything that is trying to make it go faster, you are being you in that time.

I also think its just a lovely way to check in with the self every now and then by asking the question "does the glass feel forced and if so can i allow it to just fall as it may, rather than forcing it further" . Consider the outcomes or consequences too, patience can lead us to frustration, annoyance which can lead to irritations with self and ultimately anxious feelings. Ok so it's easier said than done but like anything we can always learn to create a new habit for ourselves if we want to change. The brain loves patterns and although it takes its time to embed a new one (much like the hour glass) it will pretty much flow with it once its there.

How do I know if I am suffering with depression?

Am i suffering with depression?

Do you feel you have persistent sadness or low mood? This may be with, or without, a tendency to cry. Are you losing interest or pleasure in activities that you used to enjoy?

Other symptoms that could coincide with this:

• Disturbed sleep, maybe you wake up through the night or have difficulty getting to sleep - compared with your usual pattern.

• Maybe you wake early in the morning even after having not slept much.

• Maybe you think you are sleeping too much.

• Feeling tired a lot of the time and feeling like there is no reason for this, general loss of energy.

• Do you feel unusually agitated?

• Poor concentration or indecisiveness. For example, you may find it difficult to read, work, etc. Even simple tasks can seem difficult.

• Feeling worthless, or excessive or inappropriate guilt.

• Maybe your sex drive has reduced.

• Maybe you feel or have harmed yourself or had suicidal thoughts.

• Are you finding yourself avoiding friends and family?

• You could even be experiencing physical symptoms such as persistent headaches, stomach pains, nausea, general aches and pains around the body bloating, constipation, diarrhoea etc.

If these resonate with you at this time and it is affecting the way you usually live your day to day life. If it feels distressing for you or you are becoming concerned, and you just do not feel your usual self, you could be suffering from depression. It's important to know you are not alone, nor do you have to be. While many people feel this way at times in their lives there is support out there and it can change for you too. There is no fixed timeframe or type of treatment that suits everybody because we are all individual and unique in our lives, but there is a good chance of success and change whichever route you choose. At Sarah Harrison counselling I choose to work with an integrative approach to therapy. At the core of this is person-centred but can include psychodynamic, existential, and a variety of creative ways of working. It all depends on what works for you. What does integrative therapy mean? In short it means drawing upon more than one way of working, the blending of relevant theories and interventions to suit the needs of the client. It’s a tailored approach for each individual. What are the benefits of integrative therapy?

• Integrative therapists are flexible in their treatment strategies. If one type of therapy isn’t effective or your circumstances change, your therapist can recommend another.

• Your therapist will take the whole of you into account and may ask you questions that consider your whole self. They may ask about habits that impact your daily life, such as sleep, diet, and exercise.

• You are an individual. Nobody shares your exact story or experiences. Your therapist will consider your unique experience. As what works for one may not work for another.

Depression is hard, it can be overwhelming and debilitating, but it is not a weakness and it is not your fault, it is a real thing. Therapy can help to gain back the control it has taken and find ways of coping.